17 November, 2006

A few observations about the Eug

- Everyone wears homemade pants. The same pair. Every day. Their general appearance ranges from a modified burlap sack to a modified burlap sack attacked by raccoons smeared with fecal matter.

- This was unexpected: I turned on the radio and heard the disgruntled whine of none other than Rush Limbaugh. He was talking about how scientists may have found a gene that determines your political affiliation. Rushy boy went on to postulate that, since all scientists are obviously liberal scum, they would eventually find a way to eliminate all conservative-gened babies. Rush apparently didn't see the irony of the fact that, assuming the report is accurate, his gene's made him make such a dumbass remark. And then I understood why even Eugene listens to him: dumbasses are hilarious.

- There are, give or take, 35 people at my company. 17 have beards.

- U of O students dislike it when you replace their mascot with this picture of Donald Duck:
http://www.world-wide-art.com/art/va/printjpgs/r/sreis/oneloneliestnumber.jpg

Ah, Eugene.

13 November, 2006

Maude

(a free verse poem for general enjoyment)

Maude
by Sara Congdon

My milkshake brings all the boys
to the yard
and they're like
"It's better than yours"

Damn right

My name is Maude
I have been making milkshakes
at Denny's
for fifteen years
I'm in a waitress's union
blue apron, blue plate special

I wear orthopedic insoles
I have five cats
I am a milkshake expert

With dedication
at Denny's
behind the counter
in a glass
I could teach you
but I'd have to charge