Potent Quotables

Trebek: “Welcome back to Jeopardy: Literal Edition with our contestants Pope Benedict XVI, President Bush, and a representative from the Militant Muslims Anti-Defamation League. Pope Benedict, since you are infallable, pick a category.”

Benedict: “I’ll take ‘Potent Quotables’ for ‘Jihad,’ Alex.”

Trebek: “Alright – and that’s our Daily Trouble, which today will focus on the Middle East. And everyone please remember to write down your answer in the form of a Medieval and religiously incendiary quote.

The answer is: A great thing to say when trying to open up peaceful interreligious discussion. You have 30 seconds.”

…

“Time’s up, let’s start with you, Mr. President. You wrote: What is ‘Get ‘r Done?’
I’m afraid that’s incorrect. We said a ‘Medieval and religiously incendiary quote,’ not a ‘Larry the Cable Guy quote.’”

Bush: “I didn’t write that.”

Trebek: “Um… with all due respect, yes you did. We saw you.”p>

Bush: “C’mon, fella: be a uniter, not a divider.”

Trebek: “Moving on: Pope Benedict, you wrote: What is: ‘Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached?’

That is correct! MMADL representative, let’s see what you wrote: What is: 'I’m going to kill you.' That is not only incorrect, but amusingly ironic in light of the Pope’s quote – Pope Benedict you have won today’s Daily Trouble and the Jihad that goes along with it. We’ll be right back with more Jeopardy after this…”