11 September, 2006

The Oprah Haikus

On weekdays at 4
You appear with shiny hair
to give out free stuff

Why do you do this?
Cars, slippers, psychology
spring forth from your hands

Oh lover of poor
Oh lover of fine chocolate
always wear nice shoes

Even whipped husbands
stand up, cheer, sing your praises
But they are still whipped

the balding guru
god of the dysfunctional
Dr. Phil, your bitch

Can I have free stuff?
I want a new car lady
How do I get it?

4 comments:

Nick said...

Oprah Haiku? Could there be a more painful juxtaposition? If we're judging by which haiku it is that causes the greatest angst to its readership, I think yours wins the Emo prize.

By the way, could someone tell me who the guy on the bench is?

Nick

Anonymous said...

The guy on the bench is a guy who lives maybe in Cambridge, maybe somewhere else, maybe nowhere because maybe he is a gypsie. He was just chillin' on the bench at the park listening to his tape walkman and drinking a beer.

Mark Hendrickson said...

its actually strongbow that he is drinking. Hard cider. He is my unofficial hero also.

Dylan Romero said...

Ah, I remember you taking that picture. Best memory of England by far. As you can infer, I had a horrible time.