An Open Letter to the Sarahs of the World:
Dear Everyone-named-Sarah:
You are ruining my life. Because of you, I have no identity. I feel incomplete, unheard, unappreciated, invisible. No one takes the time to ask me how my name is spelled, unless it is one mousy Starbucks barista who also suffers the indignity of being named Sara (no "h", NO "H"!!)
Why do YOU think YOU are better? Why does that one measly consonant at the end of your name give YOU the right to be more common, more popular, more correctly spelled? I have not yet met a one of you who doesn't think your name is so far superior to mine. Usually these sentiments of superiority are veiled in quiet contempt or sheer pity, neither of which are very much appreciated by me.
It is high time I took a stance on the issue and began promoting Sara-wareness. Unlike all you Hebraic Sarahs, steeped in Biblical history, running around flaunting your five-letteredness like a thing you flaunt while you run, the New Sara is demure, French in origin, desirable, and, most importantly, phonetically succinct.
We need to come together! We need to stand strong! No longer will our names be defaultedly incorrect. No longer will we silently bear the discrimination! The indignity! The SHAME!
And even if it is years before our sad state is finally recognized, at least we can be assured, as we always have been, that we are the ones with the correctly spelled name.
I'm outie.
2 comments:
do you know what i am going to say? yes, I am going to ask you if this is a page straight out of your diary. And I think it is. It really has nothing to do with anything except that you are upset because other people have your same name but spelled different. You don't see me getting angry at all the people named marc (for some stupid reason, these c-marcs usually turn out to be gay, stupid or cereal killers) or yelling angrily at all the people named marcus (think of all the marcus' you know, they all suck no doubt). Maybe if you did a semantic analysis of the difference between sarah and sara and like used the word "phoneme" or "mental image" or "sign/signified" I could get on board. But for now I have to give you a journal speak warning.
ooooo color me scared.
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