A Blog from the Land of Eternal Sunshine and Self-Loathing

I am not sure what there is to say about Orange County that can't be learned from binging on The OC, Laguna Beach and My Super Sweet Sixteen while simultaneously reading Cosmo and hating yourself from the depths of your soul. Not that my current embittered state isn't from not being able to fit in to size 7 trendy shorts at yet another surf shop filled with tanned, gorgeous, slim, effortlessly athletic looking models of life, because it is, partly, but it is also from the sheer disdain that I feel for this part of the world.

Here are my reasons for why Orange County, CA is the root of all evil in America, nay, the World, nay... the UNIVERSE.

Reason #1: The Reading Material.

Imagine my joy in finding a used book store today, only to find it's measly shelves stocked full of dieting guides, romance novels, and other various paper-bound fecundity. The sad thing was that it wasn't even the shop owners fault. People here DON'T READ. If there isn't an airbrushed woman on the cover, preferably in a monochromatic spandex leotard, it is thrown in the trash, because...

Reason #2: There is no recycling.

Not entirely true, but might as well be, because so few people here recycle that they PAY YOU TO DO IT. Yes. You get PAID to recycle. But first, you have to truck all your second hand glass and paper wares to the recycling plant, which exists only in the imagination of a few liberals and the fewer people who actually work there.

Reason #3: There is no FOOD.

As far as I can tell, people consume sustenance only in liquid form, or smashed up vegetable form, or diet-pill form. Gross.

Reason #4: You seriously DON'T NEED AN SUV.

My time at the library is almost up, but I just really need to get this out there. Maybe, just maybe, if there is only one of you driving your car at almost any given time, the fact that it can potentially hold 7 people doesn't really do you any good. Maybe. I'm not carving anything in stone here. Just an innocent little supposition.


So anyways, I am fully aware that this is not literary, but for what it's worth, Orange County is not the be-all/end-all of American society. From what I'm gathering, it's the END of America as we know it. Maybe if we can all produce as much toxic waste, erode as much shoreline, use as much petroleum-based fuel, and shrink our brains down down down to nonexistence, then we can systematically rid the world of our selves and it will be a much better place.

Ugh.

p.s. Nick Hornby is not too good for "Journal-speak," and neither am I.